Ash vs Sai
by Sai Kunai Blade
Summary: Sai: Do I really have to do this? Draco: *cocks a shotgun, puts it to my head* Yep. Sai: Okay, okay, just put the gun down! After being FORCED to do this, Ash encounters the silver-haired handsome devil we all know and love, challenging him to a Pokemon battle. Who will win? Who will lose? Can Ash stand up to Sai's powerhouse Pokemon team with legendary Pokemon? Probably not...


I was attempting to sneak through one of the Unova region's many random-ass forests (in the anime, the games are far more specific about the forests), trying to avoid walking in the line of sight of another trainer, not really in the mood for a battle. But, sure enough, just when things had been going so well, a trainer saw me just as I was about to get passed. "Hey, you!" He called.

"AWWWW!" I moaned, raising my hands into the air and dropping them to my sides, turning to face the trainer as he walked up.

"Care to have a battle with me?" He asked.

"No." I said.

"Well too bad! I saw you! Now we made contact with each other, so we have to battle!" He said.

"Fucking hate this logic." I said shaking my head as he cleared some space. The notice and number of Pokemon he had then popped up: 5 Pokemon. Ugh... Pokemon Trainer Dave wants to battle.

"Go, Zangoose!" He said, releasing the hyper-sized mongoose.

"You're gonna go THAT route? Okay. Seviper, fucking kill it." I said, lazily tossing the Ultra Ball that contained the Fang Snake Pokemon, which was instantly ready to battle.

"Slash!" The dude ordered.

"Poison Tail." I said unenthusiastically as the rival Pokemon rushed in.

"Seviper!" It said in response, its tail glowing purple and smashing the Zangoose in the top of the head, bouncing it off the ground and sending it back to its trainer.

"Oh, man! Okay then! See how you like my NEXT Zangoose." He said, throwing another Pokeball.

"Wait, what?" I asked, then the Pokeball opened up to reveal another of the same Pokemon. "I- I don't get it. Why? Seriously, there are several trainers in the games that have the exact same Pokemon fill their entire party. I've never understood it. Why would you ever need more than one?" I criticized.

"Alright, Zangoose! Use Fury Cutter!" The other trainer ordered.

"Seviper, dodge it, use Crunch and throw his ass into that big tree." I said, pointing to it. The large snake easily dodged the attack, grabbing the mongoose Pokemon in its mouth and flinging it into a tree, easily K.O'ing it. "We can end this now if you like. Save you some embarrassment." I said.

"No way! Get him, Zangoose!" He said, throwing out another Pokeball and releasing yet ANOTHER Zangoose.

"Okay, this is getting annoying, I'm just gonna fast-forward to the end." I said, fast-forwarding through the continuous beat-down of the other 3 Zangoose as they all were sent back to the feet of their trainer. "Now then. Time to learn a lesson. Seviper, give them one more Poison Tail for good measure." I smirked evilly.

Not too far away...

Ash, Cilan and Iris were walking through the forest when suddenly, they heard a rather angry noise from a Pokemon. "Se-vi-PER!" My Seviper announced, suddenly, a trainer and his 5 Zangoose were launched out from the forest into the middle of the clearing Ash and co. were walking down, into a tree.

"What the?!" Ash demanded.

I then walked out from the clearing up to them accompanied by Seviper. "Hmph. Are you ready to admit your own foolishness? I recommend learning how strong you are before challenging someone you can't beat." I said coldly.

"Hey! Who do you think you are, talking to someone like that?!" Ash exclaimed.

"Pika!" Pikachu exclaimed, his cheeks sparking.  
"Yeah, that's right! What's wrong with wanting a battle?!" Iris added.

"I agree. Pokemon battles are a way to better understand your Pokemon and other trainers! Your style of disregarding another trainer and calling them weak is an unsavory recipe to a sour dish." Cilan added.

"Uh..." I said confused, looking back and forth between Seviper, the other trainer and the 4th wall to see if them (or you) understood it. Even Seviper and the Zangoose were looking between each other to try and figure it out (seriously. I never understand his cooking references. And they kind of get annoying after a while). "What?" I asked.

"Who are you, anyway?!" Ash demanded.

"Name's Sai Blade. Cilan, Iris, I'm surprised you two don't remember me. Didn't I defeat you both single-handedly?" I asked.

Suddenly, they both looked as though they remembered. "Oh, it is you!" Iris said, shocked.

"I can't believe it! Sai!" Cilan said, equally shocked.

"You know him?" Ash asked.

"He challenged the Striaton gym a long time ago and effortlessly beat all of us." Cilan admitted.

"He beat the Opelucid Gym a while ago, too. And won, easily. Team Plasma is actually AFRAID of him. He even has legendary Pokemon." Iris added.

"No way." Ash said, looking back at me.

"You guys make it seem like it's a big deal. Really, I judge how big of a deal things are with how easy they are. EVERYTHING you just mentioned was easy, so not a big deal. Even Alder, on a scale of insanely easy to ridiculously hard, was meh." I said, doing the "so-so" thing with my hand.

"Well maybe you'd like to try taking on me! I'm pretty strong myself! I could probably take you down a notch!" Ash said, growling.

"Alright, fine." I said, then turned to the 4th wall. And to make this interesting, I think I'll use my actually current party in Pokemon White version." I said, withdrawing Seviper. "I'll let you go first." I said.

"Alright then! Oshawott, come on out!" Ash said, releasing the small otter Pokemon.

"That's cute, but try this on for size. Samurott, let's go." I said, releasing the final form of Oshawott.

**Background music: "You're Going Down" by Sick Puppies**

Then I shook my head. "You know, you really shouldn't accept to go first. That's how things like this happen." I said, gesturing between Oshawott and Samurott.

"Oh, trust me, we can take this! Oshawott, use Aqua Jet!" Ash ordered.

"Osha!" It complied, charging forward surrounded by water.

"Match it with Aqua Jet." I told Samurott.

"Rott!" It said in understanding, blasting forward, surrounded by water. The two clashed and, as expected, Oshawott was easily knocked back by Samurott's superior strength and size.

"Now wrap it up with Hydro Cannon!" I told him, then turned to the 4th wall. "By the way, just for reference, I'll be trying to use moves my Pokemon currently know and have known. Stupid 4 moves game mechanic. Plenty of Pokemon in the show know more than 4 moves." I said, turning back in time to see Oshawott get blasted just as it got back up and was knocked out. "I'd say that's a solid win for Samurott." I said, patting his head and giving him a treat for a job well done (if only you could do THAT in the game. Seriously, the game is so much less personal than the show. The most you can do to connect with your Pokemon in the game is level them up and on occasion, get them a massage, that's it).

"Oshawott!" Ash said, holding it. "Good job, take a rest." He said, withdrawing it, then turned back to me. "Alright, you got lucky, but now I'll use Snivy!" Ash said, throwing out the hardly-can-be-called-a snake Pokemon. Seriously, it has ARMS and LEGS. It's NOT a snake.

"Okay, then, I think I'll send in Serperior." I said, withdrawing Samurott and sending in the ACTUAL snake Pokemon. "Yeah, good luck with this one. Thing's go on like this, I'll just keep outmatching you. I'm not even trying to be mean, I'm just giving advice. Quit while you're ahead." I added.

"Thanks, but I don't think I like that advice! Snivy, use Leaf Blade!" Ash ordered.

"Snivy!" It complied, it's tail glowing green as it rushed at Serperior.

"Leaf STORM." I told him.

"Perior!" It said, unleashing a massive whirlwind of leaves, sending the smaller Pokemon flying and hitting the ground rather hard.

"Snivy!" Ash said, shocked.

It tried to get up at that moment, but was certainly struggling. "Huh. Usually things go down the first time any of my pokemon hit them. I hate exceptions. We'll have to fix that, Serperior. Leaf Blade." I told him.

"Ser!" It said, rushing in with its tail glowing green and slamming it into Snivy, sending it skidding across the ground to Ash's feet, once again, K.O'd.

"This really ain't going well for you, is it?" I asked, petting Serperior and offering it a treat like I did for Samurott. "By the way, before anyone asks in the reviews: 'Wait, if he's using a team from a game, how can he have more than one starter Pokemon?!' The answer to that question is: The miracle of the Action Replay. Cheat codes, bitches! Run into the right trainers, you can catch Pokemon you can only catch in the OTHER game, like Gothita is only available in Black and Solosis is White only... Wow, that sounded racist. Am I getting too far off topic? Yeah, I thought so, too. But I will finish by saying with an Action Replay, in White and Black, you can catch Pokemon without fail and you can catch other trainer's Pokemon. Only the first one they threw out, though. Like say Ash sends in his Pikachu right now, I try to catch it, I get his Oshawott. It's not stealing, though. Somehow, they still keep the Pokemon." I said, turning back to the confused trainers.

"Uh... Pikachu, go!" Ash said, Pikachu jumping off his shoulder and into the fight.

"Okay, it's time for me to stop being nice and taking it easy. It's time I make this fight, *whispers* and this fanfiction, LEGENDARY!" I said, throwing an Ultra Ball, unleashing the ONLY mix of Grass and Fighting type, the legendary Pokemon, Virizion. "Surprise, motherfucker!" I laughed.

"Whoa. This could be tough..." Ash said quietly, but enough for me to hear. Demon hearing, baby!

"Uh, yeah, I heard that. Virizion, why not start off with Sacred Sword?" I said. In compliance, it rushed at Pikachu with a glowing blade in the middle of its head.

"Pikachu, dodge!" Ash ordered, Pikachu doing exactly that.

"Just keep using Sacred Sword until you hit it, I need to send a text." I said, quickly watching a couple scenes from the movie Virizion and the other "sword of Justice" Pokemon appeared in. "Damn, I've been pronouncing all their names wrong until now. I was closest with Virizion, though." I said, texting Cynthia. THIS is the trainer you held in such high esteem? I asked her, showing a picture of Ash.

She responded back quickly. "I suppose to a trainer who's beaten every region so far, he wouldn't be much of a challenge, but he is good. Don't underestimate him." She replied.

"He hasn't come CLOSE to even HARMING any of my Pokemon yet." I said, but then Virizion jumped into the air to try and hit Pikachu, who took the advantage of removing a grass type from the ground to shock Virizion, disturbing it, but that wasn't enough to bring it down. "Nevermind. I'll talk later, I need to focus." I texted, then turned back.

"Move faster, you're the fastest of the swords of Justice, use that speed!" I said encouragingly, to which it did and slammed the blade into Pikachu, knocking it out (we all know Pokemon do better when their trainers cheer them on). "That's 3. You sure you want to keep going? We can end this now. This is the last time I'll offer." I told him.

"Not gonna happen! Pignite, go!" He said, releasing the second form of Tepig.

"Well, you're finally throwing out something stronger. In that case, so will I. Terrakion, you're up." I said, quick as a gunslinger, withdrawing Virizion and throwing another Ultra Ball to release Terrakion.

"He's the strongest of the 3. Best be careful." I warned.

"Pignite, use Flame Charge!" Ash ordered.

"That won't work on SO many levels. Terrakion, use Bulldoze." I told it. It quickly complied and slammed into Pignite, easily knocking it to the ground.

"Pignite!" Ash said.

"End this before it starts with Rock Slide." I told it. Then, a bunch of rocks magically appeared in the sky and dropped down on Pignite, knocking it out. "Am I being too rough? I can start taking it easy again if you want."I offered politely.

"No thanks. I'm done taking it easy, too! Charizard, go!" Ash said, throwing out the large dragon Pokemon.

"Now THAT'S a Pokemon. I approve. Terrakion, good job, take a breather." I said, petting it, giving it a treat and withdrawing it. "You're up Thundurus." I said, throwing out the next (and last) legendary in my team.

"Whoa! Another legendary! Man, how many do you have?!" Ash asked.

"All of them, but this is the last one I'll use." I said.

"Okay then. Charizard, Flamethrower!" Ash said. Charizard spitting out a massive stream of fire from its mouth.

"Thundurus, take to the sky, you're gonna wanna dodge that." I said. It did and I then saw the stream of fire heading towards ME. "Oh, shit!" I said, dodging it like the Matrix. "Watch it! You're not supposed to hit ME!" I snapped.

Regardless, Charizard took off after Thundurus and it was now a sky battle. I began tapping my finger on my chin, thinking of how to take it easy as Thundurus easily dodged Charizard's full on charges or Flamethrowers. "Let's see... Huh... Thundurus, just slam into him a couple of times." I said, shrugging. Complying, Thundurus rushed forward and slammed into Charizard a couple of times. It was doing damage, but nothing compared to what it COULD be doing. "Maybe take it up a notch with Dark Pulse." I said, turning to the 4th wall. "An ACTUAL move it knows, not just something indirect like that. I might as well have said 'just punch it a few times.'" I said, shaking my head.

It did just that and blasted Charizard back a bit with a blast of dark energy. "Charizard! Grab Thundurus and use Seismic Toss!" Ash said.

"Wait, wha-?" I asked, turning my attention back to him, then looking back up. Charizard had just grabbed Thundurus and started spinning around a couple of times. Now. In a different circumstance, I'd be worried, but A: Thundurus is a legendary, B: It's a Flying/Electric type. Fighting type moves like Seismic Toss won't do much. Although the slamming it into the ground from a high altitude was somewhat unnerving. "I always forget that part. Thundurus, you're okay, right?" I asked.

It got up pretty easily and glared at Charizard. "Thun." It said, panting slightly (I'm trying to make it seem like Ash is doing something or has a chance).

"Okay, we're good. See, I'm being nice right now and let you get some hits in. I could end this thing RIGHT NOW." I said, but then Charizard fired a cheap shot flamethrower into both mine and Thundurus' face. "Okay. I'm not fucking around no more. Shock Wave." I told it. Quickly, it fired a wave of electricity towards Charizard.

"Charizard, quick, dodge it!" Ash said. It did so, then rushed down at Thundurus, but I spoke up at this point. "Ooh, you know what the trick is about Shock Wave?" I asked, the wave turning around and shocking Charizard, sending it to the ground. "It never misses. That's not a problem is it?" I asked in a cocky tone.

"Charizard, come on, get up!" Ash said. Slowly, it did so, much to my surprise.

"Man, you really gave these guys the will to go on. It's not often AT ALL where someone else's Pokemon takes more than one hit, let alone a Super-effective one, from my Pokemon. Hit him again, Thundurus. This time use Thunder." I told it. The sky then darkened, I pulled out an umbrella (with a plastic handle) and a a huge bolt of lightning came down and struck Charizard, knocking it back onto the ground and knocking it out. "Not your day, is it?" I asked.

"I'm still not done! Krookodile! Your all I've got left, go!" Ash said, releasing the large crocodile Pokemon.

"Impressive. I've got one of them, too. They're bruisers. Something like that deserves another bruiser for a challenge. Thundurus, you earned a good rest. Time to finish this, Haxorus!" I said, withdrawing Thundurus and releasing Haxorus.

"What?! You didn't have a Haxorus last time when we fought!" Iris said in shock.

"Oh, I did, I just didn't need to use it." I said, then looked between the two. "You know, I'm noticing a distinct size advantage on my side." I said, then looked at the 4th wall to explain. "Krookodile is 4'11", Haxorus is 5'11." I said.

"Size isn't the only thing that matters. Krookodile, use Dragon Claw!" Ash ordered. Krookodile's claws then had a blue glow to them as it rushed in at Haxorus.

"Yeah, I don't think we want that landing on you. Haxorus, blasting him back with Dragon Pulse." I said. It then shot a mighty beam of Dragon Power from its mouth, scoring a direct hit on Krookodile, sending it sliding back across the ground a few feet away. It took some damage, but not enough to put it down. "Wow, your Pokemon really don't like to give in do they?" I asked.

"You're about to find out. Krookodile, Dig!" Ash ordered, Krookodile going into the ground.

"Go after it. Use dig yourself!" I told it. Using the blade on it's head, it quickly burrowed under ground after Krookodile. After a few moment, it sounded like they met and began fighting underground. Shortly after, they burst out of the ground, Haxorus being knocked back by Krookodile. It got up and roared as I looked between the two. "That was impressive, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised. In perspective, the underground is Krookodile's territory, not Haxorus'." I said.

"Better believe it!" Ash said, fist-pumping.

"But don't get too cocky yet. Haxorus here was more than a match for Cynthia's Garchomp the last time we fought. It was a one-hit wonder." I said.

"You beat Cynthia!?" Ash asked.

"Cynthia, Alder, Wallace. I've been through and defeated every league. Caught every Pokemon in every region I've been to so far and all the criminal organizations: Team Rocket, Team Magma, Team Aqua, Team Galactic, Team Plasma, they ALL know not to mess with this titan of a trainer." I smirked, then turned to the 4th wall again. "I can't say I disbanded or stopped the teams because you'd all rage that's not what happened in the show." I explained.

"Don't get too cocky! Our battle isn't over yet! Krookodile, use Crunch!" Ash ordered, Krookodile's teeth glowing as it rushed in.

"Dragon Claw." I said, Haxorus' claws glowing as it rushed in, scratching Krookodile over and over, after a few hits, raking him with both claws and sending him to the ground, back to Ash's feet. "We done?" I asked.

"Krookodile, come on, get up!" Ash urged. Suddenly, it put its hands on the ground and started pushing itself back up.

"Oh?" I asked.

"Hax!" Haxorus said, getting ready to attack again, but I grabbed one of the spike on its back.

"Hang on a second, let him get back up first." I said. Krookodile finally got to its feet and stood, shakily, but enough. "Okay, now go get him. Use Strength,." I said. Surrounded by an intimidating red aura, rushing in and slamming into Krookodile, sending it to the ground one last time, knocking it out. "I believe that's all." I said, then walked up to Ash and handed him 6 of the types of treats I gave to my Pokemon. "Here, this will make them feel like a million bucks." I said.

"Thanks." He said, giving them to his team, to which they livened up again instantly.

"Well then, I guess I'm out of here." I said, turning back down the path.

"Wait, Sai!" Iris said.

"Hm?" I asked, looking over my shoulder to her.

"Do you think my Axew could battle your Haxorus quickly?" She asked.

"You sure? That's not a good idea, I don't think. You're right, though, it would end quickly for your Axew. I've NEVER seen the first stage of an evolution beat the final stage. Maybe the first beat the second or the second beat the third, but that's about it." I said.

"Please, just let us try." She said.

"Don't say I didn't warn you." I sighed, stepping out of from in between the two dragon types.

"Okay, Axew, use Dragon Rage!" She said

"Axew!" It said, firing a beam of Dragon energy at Haxorus. It landed a direct hit and caused a huge explosion.

"Alright! Direct hit!" Iris cheered.

"I suppose even the most skilled chef can learn from a beginner." Cilan said.

"Way to go, Iris!" Ash cheered.

"That literally did nothing. I can see through the smoke, Haxorus didn't even care." I said. When the smoke cleared, they could also see Haxorus looking at its chest where the attack hit, then shrugging it off. "Go for a Strength again." I said.

"Hax!" It roared, rushing in and slamming into Axew, who was too stunned to react, knocking it to the ground.

"Wrap this up with Dragon Pulse." I said.

"Haxorus!" It said, firing its dragon beam once again at the recovering Axew, knocking it out and back to Iris.

"Axew!" She said, holding it.

"You can't say I didn't warn you." I said, withdrawing Haxorus, tossing Iris one of the treats and getting ready to leave.

"Hey, Sai, where will you go now?" Ash asked.

I looked back, thought for a moment, then shrugged. "Wherever I want." I said, walking away.


End file.
